Music
Wednesday, 27 January 2010 07:01
Written by Nicky Almasy

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We asked five saber-rattling Shanghai bands to rate each other…

Five bands, five songs. We provide the battlefield, they bring the guns. So, ladies and gentlemen, before we begin, here are THE RULES OF ENGAGEMENT:

Rule #1
The first rule of battle is you do not talk about the battle. (Are you kidding?)
Rule #1
The first rule of battle is that you MUST enter your best song to be reviewed.
Rule #2
The second rule of battle is that you are STRICTLY FORBIDDEN to see what the other bands have said about you.
Rule #3
The third rule of battle is TAKE NO PRISONERS! Professional courtesy is the first casualty of war.

Ready? Rock and load! Let’s do the whole f***ing village…

The Opinions

Little Punk (Boys Climbing Ropes) on…

Lions of Puxi
“I can imagine big-boobed girls shaking their titties under the Sunday sun. Too bad it's winter! Did they mix up ‘Puxi’ and ‘Pushing’ to be funny?”

Weghur
“The vocals are too dim. Although the guitars lead you to some gangster movie trailer theme. Maybe for a Mexican movie? The whole thing is filled with marijuana.”

Duck Fight Goose
“The song is torn into two parts, but sewn up by the constant imitating birdie vocals. It's trippy at the beginning and gets dancier when the bass and guitar combination kicks in. Anyway, it’s quite dreamy.”

Cold Fairyland
“I'm a CFL fan. I close my eyes in a dark room full of people, and I hear infinite sadness. Long after that, I still feel sad.”

Ed. – Hell, girl, for a little punk you wield a big stick! Especially on Lions of Puxi! We don’t understand your comment on Weghur, but we know it got some serious att-it-tude! You can come to our war anytime.

Gauthier (Lions of Puxi) on...

Weghur
“The intro reminds me of something between Hendrix and Dylan, but as soon as Hassan brings the vocals, the song belongs to him! I’m also happy that Hassan has got some new songs, cuz it’s true, I’ve heard him a lot from 2006 to 2009 with the same old tunes.”

Duck Fight Goose
“Judging by originality and creativity, not bad. On the other hand, it takes a little long to get to the point. For the first three minutes, you don’t know if it’s the intro or if the song has started!”
 
Boys Climbing Ropes
“I would have loved this… 10 years ago. Too many obvious influences, both from Californian surf rock and British pop rock. This band should try and find gigs in US universities.”

Cold Fairyland
“I guess I’m not really into the metal or darker songs that Cold Fairyland play, but this tune is definitely cool, especially the pipa parts, making it ancient and pop at the same time.”

Ed. – Meow Gauthier, you biatch! Nice payback on Boys Climbing Ropes! I doubt you guys will be exchanging New Year’s cards… ever.

Lin Di (Cold Fairyland) on...

Duck Fight Goose
“‘Theme’ begins with swirling embryonic soundscapes, noise and indistinct rhythm that boils over into a pile-driving motif. No birds were harmed in the recording of this song.”

Weghur
“The sound is vaguely similar to Nirvana, with similar song writing skill but without the angst. There is no multi-track studio wizardry here, no artificial additives; ‘Miss You’ is simply a good rock song.”

Boys Climbing Ropes
“‘Dirty Bots’ is infectious. Listen at your own peril. You will be assimilated!”

Lions of Puxi
“The authentic and energetic reggae rhythms of Lions of Puxi are well displayed in the superbly recorded ‘Do You Puxi?’ Stylistically, Lions of Puxi have more in common with UB40 and Steel Pulse than Bob Marley and Peter Tosh, if that matters at all on the dance floor!”

Ed. – Lin Di, you break our heart. We invite you to a battlefield and you bring bouquets. We’re beginning to think that Fairyland isn’t so cold after all. Big hug.

Han Han (Duck Fight Goose) on...

Weghur
“To be honest this song sounds like bands from 80s/90s in China. If they were going for something ‘retro,’ they did a great job. If not, this song gives me no feeling of the 21st century at all.”

Cold Fairyland
“It sounds to me that they wanna do something with Chinese traditional instruments. First of all it's not rock music, but it also sounds not experimental enough to me.”

Lions of Puxi
“This song blends ska, reggae and some hip-hop elements together. I like it. It's passionate and sounds professional.”

Boys Climbing Ropes
“This song reminds me of many indie bands from Canada and the US, but more noisy and crazy. And most of all, it still sounds ‘underground’ in a good way; it’s not over-mastered.”

Ed. – Jesus, another peacenik! This is supposed to be Waterloo not Woodstock! OK, you’re forgiven for your snarky broadside on Weghur.

Maxime (Weghur) on…

Boys Climbing Ropes
“Well produced with a catchy guitar riff. A very nice pop-rock tune from BCR. Little Punk’s vocals are good but might be a bit imprecise. A great catchy tune!”

Duck Fight Goose
“A great performance. The second part of the song is my favorite, with asymmetrical rhythm (7/8 for the connoisseur) and harmonical changes.”

Lions of Puxi
“The LOP hymn is a definitely modern reggae sound. Great vocals by Gauthier but so great that Gilbert’s voice sounds a bit undermixed.”

Cold Fairyland
“Landscapy, dreamy and, at the same time, nicely arranged and performed. Very nice pipa sound by Lin Di, but the cello is a bit out of tune sometimes and the drums deserve a bit more reverb and cohesion with the bass.”

Ed. – Our evil attempt to initiate a little war has turned into a Love In. Would all contestants please reread rule number three. How can we possibly have a BATTLE when everyone is being so nice to each other!? That’s it. We’re off to rebuild the Death Star…

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