Features
Thursday, 02 July 2009 01:07
Written by Urbanatomy

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Lust
Let’s face it, we all love a good perv, and Facebook is great for that. But beware the online stalking. Continually commenting on another’s posts, suggestive comments on their photos… creepy, creepy, creepy. And what’s poking all about, anyway?

Gluttony
Occasionally we’ll call home and be put onto a young niece who will earnestly tell us what she just had for dinner while we patiently feign interest because we love her and because she’s two months shy of her third birthday. Fully-grown adults announcing their first cup of coffee of the day? Pizza for dinner was it? Read this very carefully: Nobody. Gives. A. Shit.

Greed
You know the type – continually updating their status so as you scroll down your wall every second post is by them. Leave some room for the others. And while we’re at it, get a life.

Sloth
The singlemost witheringly pathetic status update reads as follows: “Dull Ard… can’t think of anything funny to write.” It’s not rocket-science. Just don’t write anything. Loser.

Wrath
The uncensored, unashamed airing of one’s dirty laundry in public; a really messy break-up done in full view of a legion of cyber-curtain-twitchers. While formally a sin, this is poetry for rest of us, and we can’t get enough of it. Real-life, real-time Internet soap operas unfolding before our very eyes. The genre of the future.
 
Envy
Show off? You? No, no, no – just thought you’d let people know that you’re off to a party with Beyonce on Richard Branson’s private island on the off-chance any of your friends was also there. Pur-leez… We know why you do it, because we know why we do it. To solicit sweet, green envy. Great, isn’t it.

Pride
Did we mention we were partial to a good perv? Well, even we draw a line. Like a professional model shot for a profile picture. Or albums of fully made-up girls taking pictures of themselves reclining in bed. It’s tragic. Stop it.

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