Features
Thursday, 16 April 2009 06:04
Written by Ned Kelly

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Enter through a Stargate into the Cosmos and release your Galactic Memories," the promotional blurb says. "Why not," says I, "I had no plans this evening anyway."

There are seven other people joining Jiro Goh's 3-hour workshop at Frank n Sense and, first things first, everybody has to pay up… RMB1,800 each. Yup, you read that right, and as it turns out, the noise of banknotes whirring through the counting machine proves to be the most astronomical  event of the entire evening.

Business attended to, in glides Jiro, our anorexic-skinny androgynous alien-intercepting host. "We're going to unite our galactic selves with our inner earth selves," he informs us. But before we do that we need to create a golden octahedron aura around us. This is achieved by flailing our arms around as Jiro says lots of words like "energy chakra," "Inner-earth sun" and "light code," while emphasizing the need to surrender ourselves completely. "We're going to do a lot of sharing tonight." It takes close to an hour.


Bored beyond tears, I resolve to leave when Space Boy suddenly piques my interest with a strange announcement: "We are now ready to talk to the Cat People, light-beings from a different dimension." I am definitely down with that.

I wonder what these interplanetary felines will tell us? Sitting in a circle, we ask them a question: "Why are we here?" Jiro then babbles some gobbledygook in a high pitched voice that makes him sound like the Scatman on helium. At his bidding we each take turn, anti-clockwise, each speaking the same incoherent guff. This, apparently, is the Cat People talking directly through us. We ask more questions: "Who are you, Cat People?" "Will you share your light codes with us?" "And if it isn't too much trouble, would you mind energizing our inner females?"

"Zinedine Zidane" I intone, when it's my turn to babble, hoping the others will notice I'm chanting the French footballer's name. They don't. Everybody seems to be taking this very seriously indeed, even the 8-year-old boy (did I mention one of them was an 8-year-old Japanese boy?) The scene is surreal.

As the session draws to a close, Jiro asks us if we have any questions. "Yes," I venture, "did you understand what the Cat People were saying?" Jiro flashes a serene smile. "You don't need to understand," he answers. "It's about letting the energy go through you." Back up. Say the what now?! They used our bodies, and now we don't even get to know what the Cat People were saying??? Worst. Intergalactic. Conversation. Ever. “He just made RMB12,600," I think to myself, and  head off into the night.

Jiro Goh's 'Aligning to Stars and Cosmic' workshop took part in Frank n Sense. For more information call 62826525, e-mail This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it or visit www.franknsense.cn

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